


Dear (Diary) Evan Hansen

by BurntGayPotato



Series: Evan's Diary [1]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Boys Kissing, Confessions, Connor Deserves Happiness, Diary/Journal, Diners, Embarrassment, Established Friendship, Feels, First Kiss, Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, No Angst, No Angst So Connor Is Having A Good Day, Oblivious Evan Hansen, Pining, Requited Love, Secret Crush, Social Anxiety, Stuttering, Tags Are Hard, Underage Kissing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-03
Updated: 2019-12-03
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:28:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21535216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BurntGayPotato/pseuds/BurntGayPotato
Summary: I'm planning on writing some of Evan's diary entries as a next part to this series, so look out for those!
Relationships: Evan Hansen/Connor Murphy
Series: Evan's Diary [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1561621
Comments: 5
Kudos: 70





	Dear (Diary) Evan Hansen

Something was up, Evan knew that for sure. Connor was acting all jumpy around him. He would trip on his words - and sometimes feet - whenever the blond boy was within earshot. Like, he and Alana would be having a _completely normal_ conversation, and Evan would be within three feet of them as he walked down the hall. But as soon as Connor noticed, his face went all red and he started to stutter like a hyperactive toddler on caffeine. 

So what the _hell_ was going on?

Like everything else, this occurrence made Evan extremely nervous. But something in the back of his brain told him that whatever was happening wasn't bad. Something to be nervous about, sure, but not bad.

Maybe he needed to have his meds checked again, cause that something in the back of his brain sounded completely _cray-zee_.

But back to the task at hand.

Evan, the most anxious child in the school, was gonna confront his long-time crush, and ask what was going on.

Or, at least, that's what he told himself he'd be doing. He had no idea if he could scrape up the courage to follow through with his plan. 

Monday morning, January 16th, 12:17 AM. Lunch time. Seniors were allowed to go off school grounds for lunch period. And that's just what Evan planned to do. He was going to ask Connor to go get lunch with him, then he was going to ask what was up with him lately. He'd make the eldest Murphy spill the tea if it was the last thing he did. 

It was snowing lightly outside, covering the world in a powdery blanket of white. The January air was cold, but not bitter. There was no strong winds, not even a breeze. It was all so… peaceful. 

Too bad Evan was about to ruin that peaceful feeling.

Evan watched from a booth as Connor walked into the 24/7 diner that Evan had invited him to. The lanky teen looked incredibly nervous. That nervous air only thickened when he spotted Evan. He made his way over to where the shorter sat, taking a seat right next to him, leaving the other half of the booth empty. They always sat like this in public restaurants. It helped them both with their anxieties.

“Hey.” Connor muttered. 

“Hey yourself.” Evan replied back instinctively. Yet another thing they just _did._ Whenever one of the, said _hey,_ the other just said _hey yourself._ Evan wasn't sure when - or frankly _why -_ that one started.

“So, um.” Evan said, fidgeting in his seat. “What’s uh, what’s going on in Connor-town lately?” He hadn't meant for this to sound like the exact question he wanted answered, but it did. Connor flinched awkwardly. 

“Uh, I dunno, stuff.” he glanced at Evan to see if he was buying it. No dice.

“Uh, okay, so, I do have something to say. I kinda, um, don’t freak out, but I accidentally-”

Connor was interrupted by a waitress who appeared out of thin air.

“What can I get you two today?”

“Uh, two hot chocolates please.” Connor replied, looking relieved. This was one of Evan’s favorite things about Connor. He just _understood_ that Evan hated ordering food for himself, and did it for him whenever he could. Evan had more than once apologized for being so childish but every time Connor waved him off. ‘ _It’s no big deal. It makes you more comfortable, so I’ll do it.’_ He always said.

Now that the waitress was gone, Evan was anxious to know what was going on. But, since he and Connor - well, really only Connor - had just ordered drinks, she’d obviously be back. 

And he _really_ didn’t want another interruption.

It got… tense while they waited for their drinks. They just sat there in silence, neither knowing what to say. Finally, the waitress came back and clunked to big mugs of hot cocoa on the table. Connor shoved a ten dollar bill in her direction and thanked her. She nodded happily, as they’d left her with a desirable tip.

“Alright,” Evan took a sip of the scalding hot drink. “Connor, just- please just tell me what’s happening. You can trust me! I just don’t want us to f-fade apart.”

The brunet sighed heavily, fidgeting with his hoodie strings.

“I guess there’s no way to avoid it…” he took a deep breath before half-yelling. “Iaccidentallyreadyourdiaryimsorry!” Evan raised his eyebrows.

“Uh, could you repeat that in English please?”

“I… accidentally read your diary! It was just laying there and I didn’t think it was from this year I thought it maybe was something from, like, middle school or sophmore year!” Connor’s usually pale complexion turned bright red and he yanked on his hoodie strings feverishly.

“You… huh?” Evan’s brain moved sluggishly as he tried to remember what he had written in his diary that he wouldn’t want Connor seeing.

Well, he embarrassingly started each entry with _Dear Evan Hansen_.

And there was the fact that he always ranted nervously until he’d filled up a dozen pages…

Oh yeah, and the fact that half of his entries consisted of: _Fuck, I’m fucking in love with my best friend. Connor is just so *insert rant here*._ So yeah.

“Wait… but that means you know…” Evan’s face became hot and he looked away from Connor. 

“I- yeah, I know about your crush on… me…” he mumbled. “But… why? Why do you like me?”

Evan laughed bitterly. “Didn’t you see the dozens of rants about you?” 

Connor shifted awkwardly. “Nope. I read ‘I have a crush on my best friend’, and then put it down. I didn’t want to invade your privacy any more than I did.” Evan sighed. 

“I really appreciate that.” he said.

“So… woulditbeawkwardifisaidilikeyoutoo?” the taller squeaked.

“I… Engligh please?” Evan asked, looking over at him in confusion.

“Oh for fuck’s _sake_. _I like you too._ I’ve been waiting to kiss you for like, 6 months?” he nearly growled the last part. That was oddly hot in Evan’s opinion.

“I don’t…”

“Oh my _god_.” Connor groaned. The brunet took the other’s face in his hands and kissed him fiercely. Evan inhaled sharply before leaning into the kiss with equal parts bliss and enthusiasm. When they finally pulled away, Connor took Evan’s hand. 

“I love you too, Ev.” he whispered, pressing a kiss to the blond’s forehead.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm planning on writing some of Evan's diary entries as a next part to this series, so look out for those!


End file.
